My Maddie

For those of you who glaze over when bloggers post about their pets, feel free to skip this post. There have been a couple of baby steps in my adoption world this week - nothing that sends me off on a shopping trip but a couple of good things that need to be done before there's a little one here. But this post isn't about that stuff, it's about what's been my world this week - my Maddie.

I'm a big pet person - I've posted pics and talked about my two cats here before, and I joke often that I'm about a step away from being one of those crazy-old-cat-ladies. But this week has been tough.

Last week, we were dog-sitting for my Aunt A's dog, Gidget (who's been featured here before too). Now, Abbie (my other cat) does fine with the dog, but Maddie is not a fan. We lived with my aunt and the dog for about 8 months, and the dog has stayed here for weekends before, so I knew that though Maddie wouldn't like it she would get through it.

So last weekend when Maddie was acting strangely, I figured it was just her readjusting and working to trust that her house was hers again. Monday I started to get more worried, and Tuesday I was terrified. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink, and while I'd been noticing she'd been slimming down a bit, suddenly she seemed to tiny. Tuesday I could tell she was very uncomfortable and her cries were tortured. I had horrible visions of what has happened with some of our previous cats, where they have organ failure or such and waste away to nothing. Maddie is only 9, which isn't that much for an indoor cat, and she's never had a lick of health trouble before, so this was really scary.

I scheduled an appointment for Wednesday morning, and worked myself into a frenzy throughout Tuesday. Wednesday she weighed in at only 8 lbs. 5.5 ounces, which is normal for some cats, but she's usually been in the 12-13 lb range. The vet we saw (not the one my family has used for decades, but same clinic) agreed from the signs I shared that something was wrong and we ran tests. He suspected (in order of likelihood) diabetes, liver or kidney problems, or cancer. All of those sound pretty scary. We went home to await the test results. I researched feline diabetes, which would certainly change our world but would be manageable.

I woke Thursday feeling more optimistic about things. Maddie seemed to be feeling little better, and all of the signs I read seemed to perfectly fit the idea of a diabetic diagnosis. I was still worried, as all Maddie would take in was milk and she wouldn't leave my room, so something was definitely wrong. Of course the results took all day to get, then our favorite vet (truly the most amazing vet I've ever met) called me to tell me it wasn't very good news.

She has kidney disease, and the numbers related to her kidney are frighteningly out of whack. Of course I don't really understand them, but when something is supposed to be 18-26 and she's at 186, you know that's bad. As we talked about options, he said if I'm willing to try some things that might have some success, he'd like to see her as soon as possible to get some fluids into her. I'm not sure if I even said goodbye, I hung up the phone so fast, scooped her up and we were in the car on the way back to the vet. I made a couple of phone calls on the way (my mom, boss and good friend Carrie) and I don't think any of them could get much of what I said except that it was bad and I was scared.

We gave her some fluids, I think it's called sub-Q where it's like an IV but the needle goes under her skin rather than in a vein. Poor little thing got about two cups of fluids/electrolytes pumped into her and she was a very good sport until the end. We'll go back in and do this again on Monday, and it sounds like this might be something I need to learn to do at home (yikes, but of course I'm willing). There's also a med he wants me to give her each day to help her stomach/nausea - it's a shot that he had me do the first time in the office, and as soon as I'm done writing I guess it's time to go do it for today. And she will need to adjust to special kidney-friendly food, which we're working on and she is not going to be happy about.

I felt better driving home from the vet's office, determined to do whatever we can without making her suffer to make her better. The vet said that if these measures work and can kick start her kidney into functioning again, she could be with me for some time yet - at least a few years. If these things don't work, if she can't regain her strength and eating, she'll probably have less than a month. Obviously I am not ready to accept losing her in a matter of weeks.

Last night was a bit scary - the rest of the night I couldn't get her to touch any milk, never mind any of the food she's supposed to start eating. She curled up under the covers of my bed and wouldn't move. It has been a long time since I have cried as much as I have this week - you know, to the point where your face stings from all the tears?

But around 2:30 a.m. this morning, the little princess crawled out from under the covers and decided she was feeling better and was hungry. Ever since she's been willing to pick at combinations of treats and the healthy food - some tuna mixed with the canned food, or milk mixed with the liquid version of the healthy food. She even spent a few minutes hunting out in the backyard again, an activity she is obsessed with year-round but hadn't begged to do for days. So I sure think she's doing her part today - she's interested and willing to eat, and I'm going to be mixing and heating whatever she'll take whenever she'll take it.

I know we're not out of the woods yet, not even close. I'm glad that she's reacting to the sub-Q so quickly, the vet said 24-36 hours after it she would probably seem more lively again, the fact it only took a few hours seems like it's probably a good thing. He also thinks that we are catching up to this quite early in the disease because all of her blood-related numbers look really good. I think that will give us a better chance to turn things around. On a side note, anyone impressed with my clear medical knowledge? Yeah, didn't think so - neither am I. I've got a bit to learn as we go.

I'm not going to look too far ahead yet - for now my world just revolves primarily around keeping tabs on how this kitty is doing and being at her beck and call. These cats have gotten me through the toughest, darkest days of my life. Maddie in particular has always been very much my little rock. I have always feared the day that I will lose her, and to have it possibly so soon is breaking my heart.

I don't know much about kidney disease, but one of my co-workers this morning heard me updating people and said her cat has been living with it for four years and that it really is possible for things to get better. So that's what I'm shooting for.

See why I told some folks to go ahead and skip this one? I know that not everybody gets attached to their pets to the extent my family does. Here I've been worried about how both cats would adjust to a baby in the house and being without me for 2-3 weeks when I travel - that's sure on the back burner at the moment.

So that's been my week. I have lots of your blogs I've meant to comment on and such, but obviously I haven't necessarily gotten much of that done. I'm anxiously awaiting good news from several of you in the adoption world, and I can use some good news, so please be sure to fill me in!

Thanks for "listening"...